top of page
  • Writer's pictureJulie Kavanagh

Shh listen, can you hear it...? That's an adopted child speaking.

Updated: Jul 24, 2023



I love hearing about the wrongly assumed outrageous carrying on's from Adopted Teenagers. They speak their truth so clearly. I often wonder just how much they are listened to.


As an Adopted parent, you probably best have nibble speedy feet and practice a swift duck to avoid random objects launched at your head when our kids speak their truth.


As an adult outside the family, you may struggle to hear it, but you will see it. Then make a quick inner ‘blame the parents’ thought to yourself.


Adopted Children will talk to everyone they know and meet about the reality of their emotional fallout from being removed from their birth parents. They communicate it through their behaviour. It's rarely understood.


It's hard for our kids to even comprehend the police, social workers and court judges have determined it's too unsafe to stay at home with their birth family, they live in constant fear that it will happen again…..at any given minute. Imagine that fear, every day, you wake up wondering if this is the day you must leave again and you're only 13 years old.


The pressure I witness on our kids to not fuck up must not be taken lightly. The message is all around them, “don’t end up like your birth parents.” This pressure, fear and drive piled on to Adopted kids from society


It's so unfair at times. It comes from everything they engage in, education, clubs, peers, social groups….. that's if they can even be part of these communities. I see so many adopted children excluded from all of the above because they won’t (can’t) conform…


….And too right they won't, (can’t)…..would you? In their short life, they have lost so much. I don’t blame them for having a good old f’ing and j’fing, door-slamming meltdown from time to time…. they earnt it!!

Comments


bottom of page